What would you do if you woke up one morning on the brink of a much-anticipated adventure to a decision that might require calling the whole thing off? Can you imagine the fear rushing in? The resistance? The frustration? The sound of an echoing “Nooooo…” calling out from deep inside?
That’s where I found myself Thursday afternoon before our last retreat, receiving the news that due to the Federal Budget impasse, the Rangers were preparing to shut down the National park at sunrise Saturday morning. I received the news calmly at first, running through all of our contingency plans trying whole-heartedly to find something that would work. But after uncertain phone calls with all of the pertinent players, I was faced with the very clear awareness that I needed to be still, turn inward, and CARE-fully choose my next step forward.
Have you been here before? At first everything felt dark, closed-in, and full of fear. I held tightly to the vision of what I had expected this adventure to look like and the idea of letting it all go felt heart breaking! But isn’t being open to possibilities what “adventure” is all about? Instead of resisting the uncertainty, I leaned into it, seeking deeply for what this situation could be offering me. And there, around the edges of that darkness, I began to seek cracks of light. Given these circumstances, choosing to cancel the retreat was obviously the best decision to make, AND in surrendering to the flow with that choice, I was suddenly presented with several new options… things I hadn’t even considered before.
Although we had no cell phone reception in the park, word of an agreement arrived late Friday night and we were literally dancing around the campfires with joy. Several of the women who signed up for the retreat chose to come out anyway, along with a few other friends and our staff. We were gathered there to honor one of our favorite wild places, and then with the change of tide, ended up spending the weekend climbing, exploring and enjoying delicious food and community. It was one beautiful surprise after another, with a new found sense of preciousness and respect.
Although we were sad not to have had the opportunity to experience this retreat as originally planned, it gave us time to play and dream and co-create ideas/programs that will support our community even better in the year ahead. More details about these exciting adventures soon. In the meantime though, j
oin the conversation…
What kind of possibilities are you opening to in your life today? What are you choosing to let go of in the process?
